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Hey there! I just changed my blogskin :) It's a little user-unfriendly because you can't navigate my past posts by headings or hashtags. So i'm gonna update the codings, stay tuned! (The font's kinda hard to read too..other than these 3 peeves, i'm quite satisfied) Follow me on the links below! :) 29/4/2015.

Started this blog during the last few weeks of SEM1(AY2014/15) cos' i regained interest in blogging. I blog about anything - news, social issues, music - but mostly about my university life :) Hope my posts will help you to make better life (and module) choices! Currently a Sociology Major. Still fresh. xD

: Amelia Lim, 20 October.
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• Summer is here! WOOHOO!
• Started a new blog!
• Songbird
• GENDER STUDIES!!
• Coding
• FINALLLLLS!
• Banning of Ashley Madison and more...
• NOC INTERVIEW (SEM 2 AY2014/2015)
• WEEK 13!
• WEEK 12

SUMMER IS HERE!

As usual, after excitedly penning my Summer to-do list during finals, I just left it aside with little effort to complete each task.

Partially due to my overwhelming commitments. Well at least i did some coding and korean. But needs more brushing up HAHAHA.

I initially wanted to go to Italy with my parents, but because of school camp commitments, i didn't. Aww man, now i regret my decision sobs. Whyyy do i always give these holiday trips a pass when i know i'll regret z_z

I want to make each holiday more fruitful than the previous one.

I think continuous regime could work..hmm swimming after work every week?

I'm having an office job now, somewhat monotonous, similar to what i've done in the past. Really, REALLY wanted to quit in the first week cos of the negativity in me and i felt like i wouldn't learn much... but fortunately my da jie gave me some good advice, and i forced myself to have a more positive mindset and things became better.

My foot.

Another problem surfaced cos of this, some conflict between the committee members regarding my commitments to the camp. I really thought about my work commitments thoroughly, and i didn't expect it to be so serious? The camp was progressing really fine, and hence i had the reassurance to juggle job and cca commitments. Well its still okay. I think we're doing fine.

It isn't easy to juggle these 2 for me, sometimes it fun and i'm happy doing my work and settling camp stuff, but sometimes i just wanna throw everything aside and relax. I mean 8 hours of telemarketing, invoicing, emailing in the office and another say, additional 2 hours of camp everyday is crazy. The world is so interconnected you can't detach yourself. WhatsApp is your confidant, and can be quite a bugger. Sometimes its overwhelming, but sometimes i'm happy doing it and i feel a sense of achievement.

Yet sometimes i just can't bring myself to reply all those chats regarding camp. After a day of work, i still have to go back and settle camp proposals, etc. It's like double jobs zz. Its tiring, but i really hope our efforts will blossom.

So sometimes i would just escape to my world of music, heck my phone .. disconnect myself from everything..

I might sound like some irresponsible shitz haha. Sometimes we just wanna escape from out lives and take on another identity, don't we?

Recently just finished "Kill me, Heal me", its an AWESOME drama! Lots of life lessons hahaha and its really an emotional rollercoaster watching and growing on each character. It's a mash of romantic and melo love drama hahaha.

"Kill me, Heal me"

Do Hyun's 7 personalities

Truthfully speaking, i feel that we may all have some form of personality disorder, always needing to match up to that particular image that person has of you - i mean drastic changes may make you seem really weird. We are all humans with many dimensions, we are afraid that some people can't accept who we are if we show them a dimension that is really unlike the usual "me". In this show, the main lead suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder, a multi-personality disorder which he does not have any consciousness of his other 'identities', which means that everytime you meet him, he acts and reacts drastically different to you. It may be hard to accept at first, but with love, understanding and empathy from his secret physician, Ri Jin, he is healed.

Be truthful to yourself. That needs courage.

Sometimes i tend to build this layer of shell around me to separate from others, to protect myself. it's like how Do Hyun created his personalities as a defense mechanism. So i don't reach out to people that much, or stop myself from doing so in the process. Sometimes its because i'm shy, but sometimes it may be because i know the relationship we have won't last, and i'm afraid of the pain and sadness when relationships distance. Its like when i leave SS, i don't know if we would even keep in touch..Or rather i feel that we wouldn't? I don't know. But i know i might be hurt. I am scared of that.

Because when i do reach out, relationships between friends still distance away. Is it because i'm not doing enough?

Or is it because it's not mutual?

It's part of life, i know. But it's just sad, really.

We all have this deep, dark basement in our hearts. Some things we never want people to know about us. Because we are afraid we would lose them if they knew.

I think i am afraid of losing people, so much so i avoid having close relationships with people.

Or we just don't click lah. Meh idk ><

Paradoxically i wish people would tell me about their deepest fears and secrets, because in this world where everyone is so loud, we all need a listening ear. An accepting, comforting listening ear who you are able to trust. And i wish i can be someone important to these people.. To be the first one to hear their complains, troubles but also the first one they would share their happy times with.

Its something that comes with time..

But sometimes we forget that those who always listen, need someone to listen to them too...

Why did this blogpost suddenly become so emo..

Anyway, this really got me to make my own happiness. I can't always run to someone when i feel sad, indignant, worthless or whatever shit. I have to come up with things that make me happy, by myself. I have people i can fall back on, but i can't always depend on them.

Music is my soulmate, Guitar is my joy, Dance is really great to destress. I hope these companions won't ever change, and i won't get tired of them.

My hands are so full and i still want to carry so many stuff. Sigh. I don't know if i'm being too greedy, but i just want to do things my way.

Currently juggling camp and work commitments, but once my camp ends, my weekends would be mostly taken up by Sing50. But i really REALLY want to volunteer for RDA cos i love horses and i like helping people! But i have so much prior commitments.

WHEN THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY!

But seriously let me get the camp over and done with first bah. I will collapse if i don't. I really don't think i can handle this much stuff at one go.

Had to vomit my thoughts here..somewhere open yet ironically enclosed..and secure to me. Don't really have the courage to tell people such negative thoughts as i know negativity spreads, and that sucks. This is some small thing i don't think anyone should be worried about?

I hopo i will grow to become a stronger person..like literally emotionally and physically. Need get my butt of the chair. HAHAHA

It feels strangely comforting to have a platform where i know some may read and share similar concerns with me. Or perhaps even interested in what i'm doing, hahaha. Somehow I don't feel burdened by the fact everything i say here is permanent etched in the internet. Perhaps its because it won't be etched in their memories.

SUMMER IS HERE!

As usual, after excitedly penning my Summer to-do list during finals, I just left it aside with little effort to complete each task.

Partially due to my overwhelming commitments. Well at least i did some coding and korean. But needs more brushing up HAHAHA.

I initially wanted to go to Italy with my parents, but because of school camp commitments, i didn't. Aww man, now i regret my decision sobs. Whyyy do i always give these holiday trips a pass when i know i'll regret z_z

I want to make each holiday more fruitful than the previous one.

I think continuous regime could work..hmm swimming after work every week?

I'm having an office job now, somewhat monotonous, similar to what i've done in the past. Really, REALLY wanted to quit in the first week cos of the negativity in me and i felt like i wouldn't learn much... but fortunately my da jie gave me some good advice, and i forced myself to have a more positive mindset and things became better.

My foot.

Another problem surfaced cos of this, some conflict between the committee members regarding my commitments to the camp. I really thought about my work commitments thoroughly, and i didn't expect it to be so serious? The camp was progressing really fine, and hence i had the reassurance to juggle job and cca commitments. Well its still okay. I think we're doing fine.

It isn't easy to juggle these 2 for me, sometimes it fun and i'm happy doing my work and settling camp stuff, but sometimes i just wanna throw everything aside and relax. I mean 8 hours of telemarketing, invoicing, emailing in the office and another say, additional 2 hours of camp everyday is crazy. The world is so interconnected you can't detach yourself. WhatsApp is your confidant, and can be quite a bugger. Sometimes its overwhelming, but sometimes i'm happy doing it and i feel a sense of achievement.

Yet sometimes i just can't bring myself to reply all those chats regarding camp. After a day of work, i still have to go back and settle camp proposals, etc. It's like double jobs zz. Its tiring, but i really hope our efforts will blossom.

So sometimes i would just escape to my world of music, heck my phone .. disconnect myself from everything..

I might sound like some irresponsible shitz haha. Sometimes we just wanna escape from out lives and take on another identity, don't we?

Recently just finished "Kill me, Heal me", its an AWESOME drama! Lots of life lessons hahaha and its really an emotional rollercoaster watching and growing on each character. It's a mash of romantic and melo love drama hahaha.

"Kill me, Heal me"

Do Hyun's 7 personalities

Truthfully speaking, i feel that we may all have some form of personality disorder, always needing to match up to that particular image that person has of you - i mean drastic changes may make you seem really weird. We are all humans with many dimensions, we are afraid that some people can't accept who we are if we show them a dimension that is really unlike the usual "me". In this show, the main lead suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder, a multi-personality disorder which he does not have any consciousness of his other 'identities', which means that everytime you meet him, he acts and reacts drastically different to you. It may be hard to accept at first, but with love, understanding and empathy from his secret physician, Ri Jin, he is healed.

Be truthful to yourself. That needs courage.

Sometimes i tend to build this layer of shell around me to separate from others, to protect myself. it's like how Do Hyun created his personalities as a defense mechanism. So i don't reach out to people that much, or stop myself from doing so in the process. Sometimes its because i'm shy, but sometimes it may be because i know the relationship we have won't last, and i'm afraid of the pain and sadness when relationships distance. Its like when i leave SS, i don't know if we would even keep in touch..Or rather i feel that we wouldn't? I don't know. But i know i might be hurt. I am scared of that.

Because when i do reach out, relationships between friends still distance away. Is it because i'm not doing enough?

Or is it because it's not mutual?

It's part of life, i know. But it's just sad, really.

We all have this deep, dark basement in our hearts. Some things we never want people to know about us. Because we are afraid we would lose them if they knew.

I think i am afraid of losing people, so much so i avoid having close relationships with people.

Or we just don't click lah. Meh idk ><

Paradoxically i wish people would tell me about their deepest fears and secrets, because in this world where everyone is so loud, we all need a listening ear. An accepting, comforting listening ear who you are able to trust. And i wish i can be someone important to these people.. To be the first one to hear their complains, troubles but also the first one they would share their happy times with.

Its something that comes with time..

But sometimes we forget that those who always listen, need someone to listen to them too...

Why did this blogpost suddenly become so emo..

Anyway, this really got me to make my own happiness. I can't always run to someone when i feel sad, indignant, worthless or whatever shit. I have to come up with things that make me happy, by myself. I have people i can fall back on, but i can't always depend on them.

Music is my soulmate, Guitar is my joy, Dance is really great to destress. I hope these companions won't ever change, and i won't get tired of them.

My hands are so full and i still want to carry so many stuff. Sigh. I don't know if i'm being too greedy, but i just want to do things my way.

Currently juggling camp and work commitments, but once my camp ends, my weekends would be mostly taken up by Sing50. But i really REALLY want to volunteer for RDA cos i love horses and i like helping people! But i have so much prior commitments.

WHEN THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY!

But seriously let me get the camp over and done with first bah. I will collapse if i don't. I really don't think i can handle this much stuff at one go.

Had to vomit my thoughts here..somewhere open yet ironically enclosed..and secure to me. Don't really have the courage to tell people such negative thoughts as i know negativity spreads, and that sucks. This is some small thing i don't think anyone should be worried about?

I hopo i will grow to become a stronger person..like literally emotionally and physically. Need get my butt of the chair. HAHAHA

It feels strangely comforting to have a platform where i know some may read and share similar concerns with me. Or perhaps even interested in what i'm doing, hahaha. Somehow I don't feel burdened by the fact everything i say here is permanent etched in the internet. Perhaps its because it won't be etched in their memories.

Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts or at least we are getting there.

links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first

coming soon....