Hey there! I just changed my blogskin :) It's a little user-unfriendly because you can't navigate my past posts by headings or hashtags. So i'm gonna update the codings, stay tuned! (The font's kinda hard to read too..other than these 3 peeves, i'm quite satisfied) Follow me on the links below! :) 29/4/2015.
Started this blog during the last few weeks of SEM1(AY2014/15) cos' i regained interest in blogging. I blog about anything - news, social issues, music - but mostly about my university life :) Hope my posts will help you to make better life (and module) choices! Currently a Sociology Major. Still fresh. xD
Haha, i made an (impulse?) decision when i decided to go for doorknocking at Henderson's rental flats with BSS (Beyond Social Services). As a person, and as a sociology student, i feel like i always have to remind myself of these social inequalities we often don't see, because we tend to be pretty self-absorbed in our own lives. I just wanted to remind myself.
Remind myself of what?
I remember the helplessness i faced when i was doorknocking for SOCIP. Sometimes their problems are pretty big and complicated. Sometimes they just don't know the proper channel to source for help. And i feel like i'm not doing much at all with these surveys.
First, data collection is really subjective, for each individual has a different way of communicating to the participants. I suppose the data i collect will help. I have to believe it helps right, if not i'm just wasting my time. I worry for the researcher though, its 1 guy doing all the compilation, coding and analysis. :/ (please ame not something you can control)
(but if i keep thinking that, the world wouldn't change)
(not that i'm planning to change the world but, just it will all stay the same)
(is staying the same a bad thing?)
(what is "bad"? who determines what is "bad"?)
(fml. this is what goes on in my brain.)
Second, I feel like, the people living in rental households usually have people coming up to do surveys, but there's a lack of follow ups and they just give up. And i feel that my presence doesn't help lor. Because i can't solve their problems, which reinforces the problem itself. But that's not really my role here right, i'm just suppose to carry out my surveys.
Sometimes it isn't thaat hard to lend a helping hand, sometimes it is. fucking hard. so hard. I go from household to household and i'd be like, life is complicated af. One woman lost her I/C 3 times, how is it possible right? Later when we talked to the social worker, she told us that some of them sold their I/C to get more money. Some even sell rations for money (which could be for doing bad, or good). I don't know if that was the case, but becoming so desperate to even sell your identity.. The fines increase with each lost case, and they wanted them to waive it. After losing your I/C so many times you'd be investigated by ICA too. Aiyos.
There were divorce cases, teenage pregnancies, family members who went to jail, ya usually the kind of cases that are just reduced to mere statistics on newspapers.
I can't really say not my tai ji right, because i don't want to ignore this problems. I came here because i didn't wanna ignore these problems right. I still wonder why i came here. Am i coming here to just see these people to remind myself not to take things for granted, but that sounds damn bad luls
As if it was a spectacle for me, and they're like animals in cages.
nuuuu its not like this :/
What is it then?
I came here to help BSS with the surveys! I just came here to fill in the surveys, no more, no less.
-
I don't why it took me pretty long to accept this, but the fact is we can't help everybody.
So i need to let go of that control. Maybe it was hard to let go because of my ego. I don't know. :/
We don't know why we're born, but since we're here already, we make do with what we have. It would be good to make the best out of what i have.
I feel like i'm not equipped to help them now. In future maybe i can? So my goal now is to learn things i wanna learn, follow my interests and take one thing at a time.
(Sigh, i have this sudden sadistic thought. Companies can be viewed as using these people to do CSR. I wonder what's the difference between rubbing your ego and feeling genuinely happy - actually like, it feels the same right. I feel happy that i'm able to help. In the process, it boosts my self esteem a little too. If i'm unable to help you i'd feel so helpless, unless i'm willing to let go of that control, and just accept it. And believing that just my presence helps? Though i'm not doing anything tangibly.)
Or maybe i don't really understand the concept of ego.
I'm going back on Mon, maybe i'll buy a packet of sweets along for the kids? Hahaha
Trust is the most beautiful thing on Earth. Hehehe.
Haha, i made an (impulse?) decision when i decided to go for doorknocking at Henderson's rental flats with BSS (Beyond Social Services). As a person, and as a sociology student, i feel like i always have to remind myself of these social inequalities we often don't see, because we tend to be pretty self-absorbed in our own lives. I just wanted to remind myself.
Remind myself of what?
I remember the helplessness i faced when i was doorknocking for SOCIP. Sometimes their problems are pretty big and complicated. Sometimes they just don't know the proper channel to source for help. And i feel like i'm not doing much at all with these surveys.
First, data collection is really subjective, for each individual has a different way of communicating to the participants. I suppose the data i collect will help. I have to believe it helps right, if not i'm just wasting my time. I worry for the researcher though, its 1 guy doing all the compilation, coding and analysis. :/ (please ame not something you can control)
(but if i keep thinking that, the world wouldn't change)
(not that i'm planning to change the world but, just it will all stay the same)
(is staying the same a bad thing?)
(what is "bad"? who determines what is "bad"?)
(fml. this is what goes on in my brain.)
Second, I feel like, the people living in rental households usually have people coming up to do surveys, but there's a lack of follow ups and they just give up. And i feel that my presence doesn't help lor. Because i can't solve their problems, which reinforces the problem itself. But that's not really my role here right, i'm just suppose to carry out my surveys.
Sometimes it isn't thaat hard to lend a helping hand, sometimes it is. fucking hard. so hard. I go from household to household and i'd be like, life is complicated af. One woman lost her I/C 3 times, how is it possible right? Later when we talked to the social worker, she told us that some of them sold their I/C to get more money. Some even sell rations for money (which could be for doing bad, or good). I don't know if that was the case, but becoming so desperate to even sell your identity.. The fines increase with each lost case, and they wanted them to waive it. After losing your I/C so many times you'd be investigated by ICA too. Aiyos.
There were divorce cases, teenage pregnancies, family members who went to jail, ya usually the kind of cases that are just reduced to mere statistics on newspapers.
I can't really say not my tai ji right, because i don't want to ignore this problems. I came here because i didn't wanna ignore these problems right. I still wonder why i came here. Am i coming here to just see these people to remind myself not to take things for granted, but that sounds damn bad luls
As if it was a spectacle for me, and they're like animals in cages.
nuuuu its not like this :/
What is it then?
I came here to help BSS with the surveys! I just came here to fill in the surveys, no more, no less.
-
I don't why it took me pretty long to accept this, but the fact is we can't help everybody.
So i need to let go of that control. Maybe it was hard to let go because of my ego. I don't know. :/
We don't know why we're born, but since we're here already, we make do with what we have. It would be good to make the best out of what i have.
I feel like i'm not equipped to help them now. In future maybe i can? So my goal now is to learn things i wanna learn, follow my interests and take one thing at a time.
(Sigh, i have this sudden sadistic thought. Companies can be viewed as using these people to do CSR. I wonder what's the difference between rubbing your ego and feeling genuinely happy - actually like, it feels the same right. I feel happy that i'm able to help. In the process, it boosts my self esteem a little too. If i'm unable to help you i'd feel so helpless, unless i'm willing to let go of that control, and just accept it. And believing that just my presence helps? Though i'm not doing anything tangibly.)
Or maybe i don't really understand the concept of ego.
I'm going back on Mon, maybe i'll buy a packet of sweets along for the kids? Hahaha
Trust is the most beautiful thing on Earth. Hehehe.
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
my projects
links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first
: Amelia Lim, 20 October.